"Sticks And Stones"

By Rev. Billy D. Strayhorn

(James 3:1-12)

[1] Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers and sisters, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. [2] For all of us make many mistakes. Anyone who makes no mistakes in speaking is perfect, able to keep the whole body in check with a bridle. [3] If we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we guide their whole bodies. [4] Or look at ships: though they are so large that it takes strong winds to drive them, yet they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. [5] So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits. How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! [6] And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell. [7] For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, [8] but no one can tame the tongue--a restless evil, full of deadly poison. [9] With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. [10] From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so. [11] Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and brackish water? [12] Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters, yield olives, or a grapevine figs? No more can salt water yield fresh.

(NRSV)

INTRODUCTION:

For most of us, it would be difficult to worship without that little muscle we call the tongue. For those who speak with their mouths, we couldn't pray or sing or preach a sermon without it. For those of us who use mouth and voice to speak, to lose our tongue would be like tying Maggie's hands behind her back. Like hands for the deaf, the tongue is a way to communicate.

But the tongue is dangerous. The tongue can make someone feel

like a million dollars or like two cents. James says: "With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God." [3:9]

Whoever first said: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" was wrong. Words do hurt. You know that if you've ever had a parent scold and belittle you, a friend gossip about you, a fiancé break an engagement, received a phone call about the death of a loved one or gotten a diagnosis of cancer from your doctor. Words CAN hurt. They can be devastating.

The tongue remains hidden for the most part, playing behind the scenes in the symphony of life. But when it does make its presence known it has so much power. The tongue can express or repress; release or restrain; enlighten or obscure; adore or abhor; offend or befriend; the tongue can enslave and keep people in their place or it can encourage and elevate them. It can affirm or alienate; build or belittle, comfort or criticize, delight or destroy, express interest or indifference, be just or judgmental, be sincere or sinister. The tongue can Xerox the good or X-ray the bad.

When we open our mouths and activate our tongues it is important that we be good stewards of this gift God has given us. (1) James writes about the power of the tongue, the power of words.

I. USED FOR GOOD:

A. This power can be used for good. James compares the tongue to the rudder of a ship. The rudder of a ship is small but it controls the movement of the entire ship. One little shift in the rudder and the whole ship changes course. The tongue isn't very big but it has the power, through a few words and subtle inflection, to move people and change the course of human events. Think about the great speeches or even the great phrases of history.

Patrick Henry's resounding: "Give me liberty or give me death." Nathan Hale's vibrant words: "I regret that I have but one life to give for my country." How about FDR's famous commentary on the bombing of Pearl Harbor: "This is a day that will live in infamy."

Who can forget JFK's inaugural speech and the words: "Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country." Or Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s stirring word's from the Washington D.C. Plaza: "I have a dream."

Those words all changed the course of history. They challenged our very souls and spirits and as a result we and our country will never be the same.

B. Words can do the same for people and their perception of themselves. They can be used for good. They can be used to inspire, lift up, motivate, instruct, and empathize.

In an old PEANUTS cartoon, Peppermint Patty phones Charlie Brown and says: "Marcie and I are about to leave for camp, Chuck. We're going to be swimming instructors." Marcie takes the phone and adds: "We just called to say good-bye, Charles. We are going to miss you. We love you." Charlie Brown's little sister, Sally, asks, "Who was that?" Standing there by the phone with an ear splitting grin of satisfaction on his face, Charlie Brown answers, "I think it was a right number."

The tongue and words can be used for good and build up.

II. USED FOR EVIL:

A. Or the tongue and words can be used for evil and tear down. Sometimes we do it by accident. Haven't you ever said something that it came out wrong and you wished you could take it back. Or you said something you knew you shouldn't have and you saw the pain on the other person's face? That's an accident and can usually be repaired, especially between friends or loved ones.

B. But there are times when the tongue and words are used maliciously, knowingly used as a weapon to hurt or destroy. Such as when an ethnic minority is slandered and told to stay in their place. Or someone is sexually harassed. Or a handicapping condition is made fun of. Or when a story is told about someone that might very well be based in truth but is embellished a little to add flavor. Or all the information ISN'T is told.

Let me give you an example. What if I told you that one night I saw one of the prominent pastors in our community coming out of a notoriously risqué bar with his arms around some of the drinkers singing loud songs. And then said: "That's not all." What would you think? You would wonder what he was up to, wouldn't you? You would feel a sense of betrayal. Maybe even anger.

Now, what if I told you the rest of the story? And admitted that I neglected to mention that the pastor had on a Salvation Army uniform and the song they were singing was "Amazing Grace." That's a little different then, isn't it? You know all the facts.

C. Sometimes our motivation for passing on something is pure but often times all we are doing is gossiping. And that's when the tongue and our words get the most dangerous. We can't really begin to understand the potential for hurt, sorrow and destruction caused by gossip unless we or someone we love has been the object of some sort of gossip. It doesn't even have to be malicious gossip, it could be good intentions and concern gone bad. But that doesn't change or heal the damage caused by the tongue.

There's a story I've heard in several variations. It's about a young man in a small town who went to Church one Sunday and was moved by the Pastor's sermon. He accepted Christ as his savior, was baptized and joined the Church. Still filled with emotion from the event, after the service asked if he could have a few minutes of the Preacher's time. Of course, the Pastor agreed.

During their discussion the young man made a confession to the Pastor. He said: "I've made my life right with God. Now I want to put it right with those whom I've offended. I've sinned greatly by telling lies and gossiping slanderous statements about someone. How can I fix that? What should I do now?"

The preacher told him to go buy a feather pillow. To open it up and then to put a feather on every doorstep in town. The young man ran off to do it, immediately. But when he returned he said: "I did everything you said, but I don't feel any better. Is there anything else I should do.

The preacher said, "Now, go back and pick up all the feathers." The young man replied, "But that's impossible! By now the wind has blown them all over town!"

Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell. The effects of slander, gossip and the malicious use of the tongue and words can never be fully retrieved or repaired.

III. HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE:

A. So what are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to tell the difference? Sometimes what we think is a legitimate concern, someone else thinks is gossip or slander. And sometimes, even when our every intention is to help, we wind up hurting.

One way to check yourself is to use an acronym put together by Alan Redpath based on an old saying: "THINK before you speak." With that word THINK, he calls us to ask a series of five questions to ask yourself before you speak about someone.

-- Is it True? That's a simple question. But is it true? Is it the whole truth or just part of the truth? Can you prove it?

-- Is it Helpful? Does your speaking about it bring about a solution to a problem or add to the problem?

-- Is it Inspiring? Sometimes even how we address an issue when it's true and helpful is wrong. We should be inspiring as well. -- Is it Necessary? Sometimes our words and our concerns aren't really necessary. We don't need to get involved.

-- Is it Necessary? Sometimes our words and our concerns aren't really necessary. We don't need to get involved.

-- Is it Kind? That's pretty simple. What's the motive behind the words. Will it build up or tear down?

THINK Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary and Kind?

B. Another question to ask yourself before you speak might be even better. "How would you feel if the same thing were said about you?" In other words, consider the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Or the modern corollary, "Speak about others as you wish to be spoken about." That may not be very good English but you get the point.

C. James says [3:8] "no one can tame the tongue" that it is "a restless evil, full of deadly poison." But in Philippians 4:8, Paul gives this word of advice that should help: "Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." There's that THINK word again.

James is right, the tongue and the words it forms can be dangerous. But remember this, the tongue is only the mouthpiece of the heart and mind. It can do nothing of its own volition. So follow Paul's words and THINK and think of the good stuff, the God stuff of life.

CONCLUSION:

Remember this rule about gossip: "The more interesting it is, the more likely it is to be untrue."

Ask youself, What would Jesus do? Refuse to give or receive gossip or slander. Make a commitment not to engage in any form of dishonest communication. You can't control the speech of others, but you can control your speech and what you listen to.

Let your tongue and your words be instruments of peace, hope, inspiration, and help.

1. LectionAid, Vol 5 No. 3, pp 54-55 (LectionAid, Inc. San Diego, CA)

2. Peanuts, by Charles Shultz, June 6, 1991